So it's hard to capture the opportunity of stablizing the relationship like any others. Half of the time, we spent quarrelling over the unneccessaries. Da other half, we spent the time with others and not alone.

I hate waiting and expecting. If he is going to have lunch with me? Am I included in his day plans? Shall i voice out if I wish to see him? If he still excited to hang out with me despite spending yst and da day day before with me? I had been so uncontrollably mad over these issues over countless times. What actually caused it?

I hate it when he hurl verbal abuse to me. It could means nothing to anyone. Even a weak hearted may not feel the pressure nor feel threatened towards it. However, it cringes ma little heart everytime he does that. Da words revolved into poisonous darts hit on bull's eyes that landed on ma heart. It becomes curse and got me trapped in the words from time to time. What do I mean to him exactly?

I hate to think back of the past. Da fearsome truth that makes me and our bond so fragile. Why am I being implicated. Why didnt he collect his feelings well enough before making a new step that means so much more?

I then understood. If love exists, a lil gesture from him will make ya a happy lil woman who would bask into pool of fire for him. A lil mistake from him will make ya in living hell. Ya will be riding emotion roller coaster ever since. Ya would go extra miles for the sake of love. Ya would do silly things in everyone's eyes yet ya dun give a hoot so long ya're in love.

So, if da love dies, ya begin to see the world in different perspectives. And the whole thing mentioned above will then naturally means nothing.
Why do ma love hardly gets reciprocated? Does that means, wait for ma passion to die off?