Enticing relief of troubles in liquor lulls me pleasantly with a false sense of security and it's a dangerous lullaby for a time being.
Time passes very slowly for me. Other may have read too much soap stories of mine in this blog. Yet I have never been quite optimistic bout it. I shun from changes, I shun from da world.
Coping at home means growing more melancholy every hour. I drained ma enthusiasm unknowingly. Filling with envious eyes at others' eventful life and splendid occurances. Lookin back at ma own's blandness that's unable to lift colours in any aspect.
I look and behave like a loser. I can only seek solace in ma gurl, ma closest and yet da busiest.
In most time, I cried out desperately fer a change and to realized nth in da world changes for me.
I make successful jokes infront of others. Somtimes fun and warm, sometimes cold and merciless. It's just a cover for another emotion for me to hide. To bring the gift of tears and laughter to the public through the stage, at the cost of the privacy I seek and need.
In a room of laughter and talks, Im often left with solitude. No strength from within be in social distinction.
I feign ignorance at most of the time because I thought that might be a bliss fer me. To let time washes da pain and misunderstands itself. Very soon, I know deception is too hard to take.
To smile to cover unshed tears girl. I can do it.
