.THE JOKER IS ALWAYS SMILING. EVERYONE HAS HIS DOUBTS.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Are ya having ya usual Monday blues?

I must say retail therapy does wonders. It cleanses ya anger, calms ya soul and naturally dries ya pocket really really fast. I did it again. Jo was ma accomplice. She was once a terrific spoilspot whenever i mention that the things im getting. The Jo i know now, has already succumbed to the glory of new items in her wardrobe. She is not the Jo i used to know... how sadddd? I dun wanna mention how much i've spent today becos the thought of it just shattered ma heart.

On a lighter note, I bought an aviator, a vintage bag, a belt. Cheap cheap cheap! Gettin a pair of specs which i had been procrastinatin for prolly 3 months? That's the ripper. And a top.

Im a happy girl.. in a happy world. Life's fantastic, it's terrific!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Have ya tried stopping da process of pee-ing when ya're in da loo? I mean, an interrupted pee-ing session. Okay okay.. let me rephrase it. Have ya tried to hold on to ya pee and pee and hold and pee and let it continued like this till ya're done?

Today, with all ma raging curiousity and guts, I ventured into this new found activity. Insanity is in full control of me today. This is how it went...

Ma bladder was in full tank and da green light flashed and signalled me to da loo. I have no clue what has smacked ma dumbnut brain in the middle of ma pee-ing session, i thought that would be a good way to train ma bladder to a good sexaye 6 pacs and looking all manish? So i tried...

It was almost orgasmic I thought, at some points. It was just euphoric. Especially when climatic endings came rushing with the burst of chills, the shrudders and the screams.. gee... I pee-ed like a man.

Climatic.. Euphoric.. orgasmic.. spasmic....

This is really a sparstic entry to keep me busy. Right now, i'm expecting Jo's face goes like this ---> (-____-) when she reads it. Do try it the next time when ya visit da loo and ya'll get ma drift. Uh huh..

beauty of imperfection

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Sis Seng did one illustration for Eliz and i demanded the equal treatment. He agreed rightway but I sense some resentment from him thou. He must have thought that knowing i'm not special enough yet i still asked shamelessly. -pout ma lips- Anyway let's study the illustration together.

Point 1: Ma stapled lashes. Sigh. Enough said of this. Not the worst.

Point 2: Bad. The term 'Longkang' is most probably derived from this illustration. It unleashed the real meaning of it totally. With murky stains and dirts hiding there.

Point 3: Worse. Ma right arm in the illust. looks dislocated. I bet he still cant get the bad past off his mind. I used to hit him really really hard with that hand. Forgive me lar sis.

Point 4: Wahh.. worst! Since when i have sucha serious case of abrasion in between my legs? I know I have 2 flabby thighs with cellulites all over, but not that serious wad. Wah Rao Eh

Or ya trying to say, ma pubic hair stretches out my panties? Ya know i shave dun ya?

Point 5: I should be totally speechless ba now. With the SEDUCTION on the top right hand corner, it does not justify the word at all.

Wahh... I would not demand from him if I know this would happened. If only.... if only. Blind maself and put me in denial pleaseeee. At least ma hair still looks cool and chic with luscious red juicy lips. Fair creamy skin which i probably will not have in this lifetime. -Laughing my head off-

Honestly speaking, I really appreciate wad sis has done. For all i needa know, this piece of art need alot of time and effort. Da next time i see him, I cant see his tiny eyes perhaps. I still like this actually.. very very cute!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I saw this paper bag sitting on ma shelve when i walked into ma room. Seth shouted to me that is from JX. I peered into the bag and saw this folded paper, it wrote,

Hey there, I'm truly sorry about how i treated you that evening.

I must have been such a moron and I know I am one.

Thinking back about what you said yesterday afternoon triggered a great deal of remorse in me. Enough of all the apologetic words, I know you don't want to hear them anymore, so let's get into the point.

When I decided to redeem mself, there was only one thing on my mind and that is to cook for you. I have never really cooked anything before in my life, therefore I had to purchase a cookbook and refer to it. Inside the carrier, I have prepared for you what I thought to be the two simplest dishes in the cookbook. One is Cantonese MushroomSoup and the other is Hot Chendol. If you have doubts about whether I really cooked these, I can assure you that its impossible for you to find these from any hawker centres or food courts and I'm not crazy to the extent of purchasing them from restaurants. So please don't doubt my sincerity yea?Anyway you can choose to dump them after one mouth or even not taste them at all. Since I can't undo the hurt I caused you, then I hope you can inflict the same hurt on me.

P.S: Please don't say you're not going to bake or cook for me anymore, cos if you're not going to do it, then nobody would.

I pour the soup and dessert out to two big bowls. Mum and Seth did the tasting with me. Suggestive comments were made while i kept quiet...

I thought i've hardly been an angel myself, I always make things a bitch for him as if that is ma right. I've never tried to redeem maself the times I angered ya. Is it too late to say i'm sorry?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

we're tryin to act cool

Seng looks constipated

brimming with smiles

We left a seat for Don

Seng and I

Jo and Seng

Seng and I

another one

My boots

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Let's forget about what have i done last week. Let me start from this very Monday instead. Let's do it.

Monday:
Cancelled the supposed treetop walk with Alvin, Jo and Don. Learnt from Jo, we blamed the haze like nobody's business. Despite da changed plan, we proceeded to Clementi market nonetheless. We compensated the walk with a short green view at this place which i have no clue and took few shots. Heard numbers of hoo-has about Vivo. So with no intention of shopping, we were strolling aimlessly. Everyone went home with filled hands and contented smile on their face. Jo got this sweet black cardi which i think she really looks good on it. Don got herself a skinny jeans at Mango. I got maself a pair of boots and a pair of skinny jeans in a swift too. I went over to Jo's place to bake some brownies and stayed over. Seng, Dick, Jx and Don were in da house. I've lost count how many times i stayed over for this break already.

Tuesday:

Selamat Hari Raya beautiful people! Don urged us to have our brunch da minute we got up. Yes yes.. so we had our brunch before heading home. Longtong was awaiting me then. So i gulped it down without proper chewing. I contemplated over to have a cat nap or bakin of brownies. Im afraid i cant cope without's Jo's assistance, so i gave da baking a miss. Yes... i ate again after waking up. Coping at home is not helpin, so i called for a movie session with Seng and Jo.( The Departed) And i had Burger King. Right... weight gaining project. So we cam-whored abit before the movie. Seng and i were thirsty and we went to West Coast for some quickie. Home after that.

Wednesday:

Was woken up ba mum's deafening lectures. She managed to convince me that this issue is way bigger than ma bro's heinous mistake. In the fit of angst, i turned rather defensive. Look, ma sleep was disrupted unnecessarily. Now that i have a foul mood to start ma day off, worse, it's gonna be a long dreadful day of work. Cramps rumbling around ma tummy, and praise my heck, bloodshed befalled on me. That explains why ma denfensive mood earlier. Ma "it's a beautiful day" belief would be shelved up for the day for further notice. Unless, someone's able to bail me out from this pool of sorrow.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

I charged down to St James after work with Don. She was there to witness our joy over the results. We got in to Dragonfly. Da interior was nicely decorated and the mood blended in quickly. Singing is not ma saving grace, so does Ktv. Especially with a room full of strangers. After few glass of quick drinks and cigs, we hopped to Zouk instead. I felt like i'm at home. Totally at ease. Right music, good mates to club with. I sing like a dumbnut but i think i can still groove slightly beta thou. We hit da dance floor right after few drinks. It was hell. Jo was waltzing around the dance floor with an ang moh while Don was dancing with her fling when we saw her bf. Just how crazy.

Dick, Me, Jo and mich

1 single 2 attached

Mich and Jo wearing their best smiles

Donnie gurl

And that's me.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

This break has been like a roller coaster ride. Needless to say, I'm enjoying every bits of it. No part time job that slaves my life out like before. More time for friends and family. More time for fun and cruel acts come natural too.

Especially when i exploit Friendster through a series of explict photographs of myself. Which in return, makes it easy to widen ma circle of friends and meet all sorts of people.

I gotta admit, through Friendster, alot of events happened in da span of 2 years. Wait, im neither saying i'm extremely gorgeous nor sexaye to get them hooked. Im far from it. I believe the ambiguous statements of mine usually suggests a deliberate intent to mislead by avoiding clarity which leave them enticed and asking for more. Not healthy but then again, it leaves plenty of room for imagination.

If anyone is gutsy enough to send a msg over to me, i would safely assumed they are all for it or still having the hots for me. I adore wits and intelligence.. good looks fade soon which is futile and yet serves as a bonus. To add on, men who are able to appreciate ma traits are in the game of fun. Other than that, i'll give it a pass. Naah.. im not far sighted person if ya've realised. I seek for short cheap thrills.. which assures no commitments nor responsibilities.

Many asked, why those provocative photographs of maself? What am i tryin to prove? What's the intentions behind? I can't root out a reason for that maself let alone explaining to others. I'm probably just another attention seeking whore constantly looking for easier way out to shine from the norm. However, everything is just virtual and temporarily stimulating.

Those who know me well enough, i may not be what the photographs depicted. Deep down within, i still have ma moral values brought down to me by ma traditional parents. Don't believe what anyone tells ya about me. Ya gotta find it out yaself.

In reality, there are things beyond ma control. Beyond ma means. There are frustrations, stress and pressures. While Friendster or in the virtual world, i could have the full control and manipulate. So it naturally comes in as a bookmark for me when im tired and break free from the reality. So what is Friendster to ya?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Da wait was unbearable. Da feeling was ticklish and slow pacing. Waiting is the last thing i wanna do. Jo called to share with me her piece of good news. Apparently, she did well for her assessment and im elated upon hearing such good news. With the equal mixture of doubts and anxious waiting to know mine as well, i called Seth to notify me at once after the letter box is opened. I have 6 As a B and a C. Ma eyes rolled heavenward and heaved a great relief. I've not failed the ones who wanted me to do well. Most importantly, i've not failed the expectations. I revealed a victorious grin silently.

What's next? What else but to rejoice over the good news? Jo has da night installed for both of us. Would be heading to St James power station with Ah Dick, Mich, TL and co. We swore to get drunk tonight. Everythin could be perfect if She is there with me too. The fact that she is feelin unwell deferred me from askin her to join in the fun. Next time perhaps.

Wait a min, im plagued down ba ma sinus. Nothing stops me from clubbing tonight~

Thursday, October 19, 2006

A little too late to post the Bintan's photos up. It is better than never, isnt? Here we are, let's go! I realised i have not much pictures from there, so it should be easy.

As close as a candy house

View from the little hut

Take a peek-a-boo inside

We visit this corner more than anywhere else

Where we rejuvenate our mind, body and soul

Just the 3 of us

We are exhilarated, dun we?

While D tried to be as composed

Night shopping at POO

The man who tried too hard...

Where is jo?

Here she is

Fast forward to the last day

Don's failed pout lips

So i tried too hard to wink

Just us

Just too heavy for her

Stingray.. muahaha

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Friday was a bore for me. I did not attempt to bail ma butt either. Bumming around at home with Don prolly the best i can think of. I thought i can go easy with ma break because im left with 3 more weeks. It was after ma late realisation that im almost done with the TV programmes and Don is leaving me for Gene, i hafta get a quick fix for ma dinner. Jo sensed it and buzzed me with an invitation to MJ session over at Js' place. I agreed without hesitation. Da desperation drove me really bad. Something nasty happened and we changed da plan. Nothing in the world beats having evening drink with bitchiest gf and raking up the silly past. Of course.. with twists and turns of events along our chill out session made it even beta.

when the fragile trust is broken

Friday, October 13, 2006

Just when my worries are starting to subside, the others began to surface. This is getting too hard for me to comprehand. Lookin at him, i see no familiarity. An immense disappointment overwhelmed me. I was being thrown to the hard cold fact that he no longer believes in me and it hits me really hard. I blamed ma parents for not rebuking him hard and impactful enough when he was younger. This is not the first time he is doing this. I cant assure this would be the last time too. I blamed maself for not reaching out to him in time to stop his wrong doing. I teared. Each tear painfully reminded me how nasty i was when i was at his age. Could that be the reason why he's being led astray.I blamed him for making ma days ever so worrying bout him. His results. His peers. His actions. A cold war broke in and i wonder how long it's gonna last....

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Im back from ma short getaway. It was splendid. I had ma virgin rock on a hammock. I had so much things to tell butta ma brain sort of failed me. Arrghh... i wish i have an immense and boundless memory. I wish i wish.

a quick update

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I thougt i would be a couch potatoe on a Saturday but i just cant bear to let da day go wasted. J has included me in her programme that sounded enticing. Despite tireness and the energy within is rather dry, i still went for it. Im a energizer bunny that neva runs out of battery~

Im packing ma bag, ready to leave ma unsettled mood behind.
Bintan where i would be at for the next 3 days.
Just D, J and I. Nothing else.
Sun, sea and breeze.
Drink and get wasted. Wait, im on medication. Sheesh
Im happy. Ya happy. We are all happy.
No more mind screwing problems. No more pacifying. Just fun.

****
Im hungry and thirsty. Im craving for it. Hungry woman is an angry woman. How true. I will eat anything comes near me and not be picky i promise. *grin*

Friday, October 06, 2006

I rolled ma eyes heavenward when i saw the TP dates. It is starting frm Feb onwards! Wah Rao Ehhh! Even when D took out her P plate im still pending for the test which i seriously doubt i would make it. Sheesh! Tanks to my procrastination and not heed J's advice.

Wed night rounded up successfully. Would be perfecto if Don was there. Cant wait to plant ma kiss on her cheek. Very irrelevant i know. Oh well.. she had to leave fer her own good.

Oh.. I was kinda held back when i learnt about this. Herpes can be easily transmited through skin and saliva contact, not neccessarily body fluid. Named Herpes type one. Da milder kind. ok, next time when ya about to thrust ya tongue into a stranger's mouth, reconsider. Kissing is not a good choice afterall.

I needa know if im on da safe side.
I would need find da mildest way to break da news.
Please forgive me if i eva shatter ya heart.
Ya da last person i want to hurt in this world.
I mean da truth.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I passed ma FTT. Yayyyyy! Time for rejoice!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

A longest wednesday i had. Had insonmia and couldnt get to sleep despite tossing around on bed, so Don and i had our early breakfast at 6 plus in the morning. Gene was still lazing on the bed then. Accompanied D to HDB hub fer short briefing regarding her new company's jobscope. I received 3 similar comments in a straight row. Saying i look troubled and worried. *chuckle*
I was at phuture yesterday, like an all-friends-gathering. Also, Mich had a mini bday celebration to end the night. A smiley to end da entry.

Mich's bday cake, isnt it cute??

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Im on the way of recovery path of ma after-stress-illness. Thanks for the blessing, folks.

Believe it or not, it was my virgin visit to Sim Lim Square yesterday despite it's a few streets away from ma school. That left me with no penny in da bank. Wah Rao Eh

J came back yesterday night with a call. D and i was exhilarated after not hearing her for days. So she told us what's installed fer us. We hit da expressway rightaway that linked us to catch a glimspe of her. She got ma a very cute dress/top which i love it at first sight. She said she put on alot of weight which i failed to acknowledge it and that baffles me. She made me hanker the thought of going to Thailand straightaway. Wicked. Anyway, her chirpy mood is tantamount to her jovial self. It is a good as gold.

I'll be a goody girl today, to recuperate ma soul. and ma bed is will be ma soulmate bcos ma TV set aint workin!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Im a sick cat now. Splitting headache, sore throat and flu and cough come in a package. When i'm feeling vulnerable, all i could think of is my chocolate. Ha.. cheap cat that is.

On a happier side... one aunt came up to D and i asking if we are twins. Further complimented us that we have the fu qi look and very piao liang. That auntie really made ma day instantly.

A love letter?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Sweetie,
Let's see what I have to offer:
1)I'm young
2)I'm attentive to you
3)I make you laugh
4)I'm interested and excited about you.
With this e-mail, have I made it easier for you to cross that line of propriety and invite me somewhere for a second date with a smile, a question and a gesture of affection?Perhaps the easiest thing to do is to write you a love letter ! So, here it is. (Activism is my bread and butter!)
I am excited when I first saw you walk towards me, I like the look in your eyes and the mega-watt smile.You are pretty and you are very sweet (Sweet is a weird adjective, isn't it? Haha),especially the terms of endearment which are pretty much non-commital , nonetheless nice to hear!
I feel maybe you like me too, like seeing me makes your day a bit better. Who is to know that the feeling is a hint to us, a hint that we could be soul mates or lovers?Well, there's only one way to find out, I supposed.
I wouldn't feel bad about meeting your beautiful boyfriend if that's the case.You can just say, "He's a lovely boy." to me and leave it as that. But if that's not the case, well let's go out more often.
Love,ChanG

****

True enough.. I had a date on a Sat night. It was a very last min thingy, and i did not mean to impress too. So i went to meet him straight after work without touching up ma face nor ma hair. I was still resonably groomed nevertheless, with a denim short skirt and unshaved leg hair if ya call it. He was a nice chap blessed with a sweet tongue, a decent face that worth a date without disgrace too. I was terribly flattered by his strings of compliments for the night. Last thing, he sent a virtual love mail over. I guess lady luck is smiling with her mega watt smile on me lately.

***
Pain is an addiction serves as a vicious reminder to make sure ya're still alive
Argument serves as a sweet warning that tells ya that ya're still in the game

D.. ya shld know what kind of man he's like for now.