That fervent admirer is driving me up to da wall. Dun let me have a chance to get back on ya. Just ya wait. I'll tear ya into pieces when i get hold of a chance and leave ya with nothin.
Im startin to get grip of what i want. I have always preferred maself to be in a state where everything is within ma control. This will only make me feel confident and a sense of security. I detest da feeling of walkin on a thin line in da middle of air. It is threatening and i will slip and fall. Do you?
I should really bang maself against the wall. Da world is not speakin right. Earthlings are getting more irritating. Im not in ma best state. Needless to say, the mood to blog.
I had a deep conversation with Ryan. Don's colleague. I have always enjoy a chat with him. He is eva that intrigueing. Dat always leave me wanting to dig more fer it. He was sayin, im an attractive yet fiesty ladey. On da contrary, i have a soft core within. Fer that, i beg to differ. Cos i believe everyone has a soft spot. Being soft is not ma core, butta maybe one of ma many facade. Think, how many time has he seen me? Wad he had seen, might be da one of the many facade i have. Ha.. all i can say, i appreciate and admire his wits.
I attended a call. A familiar voice across. I mentioned bout da quivering voice when i was doin ma presentation earlier. He showed dismay and disappointment. Apparently, he holds high hopes on me.
Run. Run as far as where ya legs bring ya to.
Hide, into da sea of human beings or barrow yaself into a hole.
But that is neva gonna be long.
Ya will be arrowed out. Sooner. Later.
I finally understand this phrase at a late age. "Ya can run, but ya cant hide."
On the light note itself, i have completed an assignment. One down more to go.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I dun wan ya asking me to give up. I need ya to stand ba ma side, telling me life is not just yet. Telling me everything is okay. To strive for what i aspired to be. I wanna earn da well deserved recognition and ya being da only source of motivation.
I will return very soon. To be a butterfly winged cat. Free and easy, hunting fer prey once again. Put them near my arm near my bed. Close and intimate. Side by side. Torment them and watch them yelping fer help as they die.
Deluded self, pathetic.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
People who are mired in self-delusion are the ones who have flaws. They wallow in self-delusion so that they won't have to face up to their flaws. Do ya think like wise?
He told me he wasnt feeling as sad as he thought he would be like da first time how i hurt him. He even went out with friends to have jolly time after. I still appeared aloof. So he tried to confess sayin, wadeva things frm da start he did fer me are all lies, like how much he likes me yadda yadda. To da extend of askin me to twist every of his words to get da truth of it. He bloody screwing up da image of him by freakin ending it with da last sentence, 'im much more complicated than ya think'. Ma toes were laffing hysterically with me. Is he tryin to hard to make me look like a fool? Does he even knows that i was da one lying to me all these while when i said im a lesbian? (im sorry to weave up sucha pathetic lie) Well, in order to polish his image fer him, i did not rebuke and revealed nothing of my lies to him. He looks really pathetic to me now plainly bcos he's using means to impress. perhaps he thinks i might cry him a river? I rather order a mudpie and call for celebration with one or two party poppers. This is da mean side of me. So dun try too hard to impress and ya look desperate, or ya gotta etched a deep unforgiving impression in me dat takes eons years to erase, ya hear?
Unfortunately, he looks like a tragic soul to me now. He hasnt own da ability to make me feel a tad bit of sadness upon this issue but laffing at his own folly and stupidity. Yesterday night, Don and Jo managed to convince me that the way i treated him was very harsh. I feel weeny bit of remorseful fer a moment. If only, he did not say or this... if only. Ohhh.. dun tell me he's pagued ba da in-denial syndrome within ma clique yst night?
Forgive me, im neva this mean.. butta i really hate this man's guts. Fer trying to shatter ma heart.
when in doubts, i do this
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Needless to say, ma Fri was a boom. Met up with a pregnant ladey, her sis and Jo. It was all bout gurls talk.
Im so bored at werk.. so i worked on these two tests. Just fer a laugh.
What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You |
 You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do.
You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.
You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.
In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return. |
What Your Soul Really Looks Like
|

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.
You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.
You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think.
Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.
For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.
|
Friday, September 08, 2006
What would normally be your morning beverage dosage like? Fer mine, usually start off with a big mug of plain water. For a head start of ma breakfast, i would opt fer a cup of honey. Da world has been going through da roller-coaster-emo syndrome. Perhaps, da cup of honey every morning keeps me away from it. *touch wood* Fer other days to kill ma lethargy, i choose coffee instead.
Im very particular when comes to beverage. Especially during da morning blues. Ha.. im gonna end with ma morin dosage of beverage. Trust me, da list could go on and on. Unfortunately, im not those who are blessed with high metabolism and slim figures. I grow. Very fast in fact! Like a speedy gonzale~ But that is da way i live ma life, ya hear?? So Jo was sayin,
"u happy oso mudpie not happy oso mudpie pple happy oso U mudpie.. pple unhappy oso u mudpie.. always a reason fer a mudpie~" haha.. damn classic.. butta i like and i still look great dun i?

Friday, September 08, 2006
Fig1 and Fig 2 
Fig 3 and Fig 4No no.. im not here to impress (which i doubt i haf da ability to). Neither it is up fer sale fer chris sake! I just need comments fer da first draped product i have done in school earlier. Heck this assignment, I have been seeing stars with da long hours of staring at da monitor. On da other side, it is interesting enough to intrigue me and it keeps me werkin on it~ Loathe or love it, i still gotta whip out 4 products to save maself.
Fer a moment, i thought i have been da nasty one. A moment of folly, made an impulsive decision. Fer not considerating her opinion. It has passed, she has forgivened. Wad more could i ask fer?
It is Friday night, i desperately needa small 'break-free' from assignmented bothered me. I smell help. Its from Jo. We needa breathe, a booze is wad we could ask fer. Meeting her up very soon. I swear, da Friday night with da usuals has to be resumed efficiently afta da 27th.
Pictures up, people~
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Part One: Lunch with Missy

Don and i

Another shot

Don and Cheryl, Hong Kong Cafe: Marvelous thing

Cheryl and I

One last hug before she leaves
Part Two: Hardrock with Nafa

Ngak and *ahem* Clement for liveband

Shimmy diamond and I

Jowie and Shimmy

Jo looks like she is high on alchohol isnt she?

Not forgetting, us three cam whores.

Forgive me, this is da best pic of Kumar I have

(left to right) Siti, Ruby, Aznie and I

Shellie, me and Lea ( ma joy in class)

(from left) Daincy, Limei, Lea, Shellie and I

(from left) Mel, Wanling, Limei and daincy

In da toilet to end da day.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
To ma amazement, I had one splendid Monday. Met up with Missy fer a farewell lunch at Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe with Don. Soon after da lunch, Don left us fer good, so Missy and I went ahead fer Devil Wears Prada. There are alot of reviews circulating which saves me da trouble of recommending.
At night, da whole of Fashion Merchandising and Designing students were to gather at Hardrock Cafe. It was meant to watch Kumar's drag show fer fashion forecast's inspiration. Christine, our horny lecturer (according to Kumar) is generous enuff to subsidise da entrance fees fer us. Before da show, we had Ngak and Clement fer da liveband, which ahem.. Jo and I kinda fancy Clement in a way. Da show was a relaxation to ma mind, i gotta admit Kumar is a telented host. Alright, Pictures should be posted very soon i suppose. A feast fer ya eyes, people! As da saying goes, pics paint helluva words~
like a pink martini
Sunday, September 03, 2006

Da cloud came in a breeze on a Sunday morning. They look so good but feel so strange. So nothin looks quite as clear as yesterday. Full of zest and feeling proud, da cloud managed to swirl ma woes all out. Fer a seat in her heart has been warrented. It is more den a delight.
I haf no qualms to work in a group, in fact i like da idea of it if ya ask me. Fast and efficient if things progress smoothly. Howeva, nasty issues are usually da case. I have been through once and definately not anymore. It really strucked me hard. So im rather skeptical when comes to choose my group members. Fully aware what would da situation be like. Please note, im not referring to anyone of ma classmates here. Im so exhausted to cover fer them already. I have learnt to protect ma interest and welfare. I learnt from hard lessons, you hear?
September,a new episode. A busy month ahead before da well deserved break. I'll be expecting more workload, more date dues. So i would not tolerate any nonsense. I'll bite
Lastly.. a kiss fer da sumone special.. bearing the name of 'giselle'.
Just random
Saturday, September 02, 2006
When one is throwing fit becos other seems to overlook their interests at heart, da one has also conveniently forget bout others' bad days too . Not to mention others' interest. Everyone has his/her fair share of ups and downs. Setbacks and achievements and we live fer each other isnt? Im not nit picking whoeva might think im referring to. Bcos in any possible scenario.. i behave like that obliviously too. There are times where i build ma happiness on one's sorrow too.
I live and die fer ma frens, as cliche as it sounds. Trust me when i say i hold all ma worthy frens above me, i wouldnt wanna risk to blow ma frenship away with a mere mistake i have done. I bear no shame to beg fer forgiveness if i could exchange it with the old ties we had. But i beseech to have da least dignity i can have and let me know it is all worth da effor done.
It takes an eternity to build trust and a wink of an eye to crumble it.
I have mentioned in ma previous entry. I have done injustice to ma body and soul fer this 2 weeks. Fer minor and major issues seems to congest in this season. And unhappiness has slowly creeped in to everyone's mind like a passing virus. I got plagued unfortunately. I haven been really voicin out since stone age. Hogging on to da attention has neva occurred in ma mind. It feels like that benefit has been ripped off frm me eternally. Eternally. I utter no woes. No cries. No soap story.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
So Jess were yakking of not seeing ma photos up. I could visualized the adorable pouty pink lips of her. A soon-to-be-mother doin this is unpardonable cute~ I hope with this.. could appease her alil. *lol*


a case of cynicalism
Friday, September 01, 2006
I cant blame maself fer thinking this way. I have the benefit of doubts here. Knowing him fer less than a month has already flipped me out. Dry. A cynic ba nature who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view. I just cant find a reason why is he so persistent. I made up indecent lies like im a lesbian yadda yadda and he is not daunted ba that? I have been very aloof to him and da liking fer me just get stronger? I got ma mind fried to think of every possible action to pissed him off and shoo him off. Apparently i have failed. This is very atrocious i thought but i couldnt care more. He just dun get it. Trust me, i totally know da feeling of dejection. It is undeniably intolerable. I dun need him to yank at me bcos HE. HAS. A CHOICE. YOU HEAR? I dun understand why i always need to sound like a robot when talkin to him.
I skipped school today. 2nd time in da week. not very proud of it thou. Sum might be unhappy with this. Even i haf thousands of reasons to back me up but i know it is not helpin.
rottencabbage.
The one your momma
always warns you about.